


Three times

by Morositas



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Drabble Sequence, Introspection, Levi centric, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morositas/pseuds/Morositas
Summary: [ A Sequence of Drabbles - Erwin/Levi - Angst ]A sequence of drabbles that tells you a story. Where Erwin is a commander, meanwhile Levi a prostitute. They meet only three times.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 15
Kudos: 99





	1. 01. Skinless

**Author's Note:**

> A chronological order will be followed in the publication of the Drabbles.

He was _naked_. He stayed still and silent, sitting on the undone bed with the sheets tangled between his toes. 

He felt _dirty_. He would’ve liked to wash himself up, but he couldn’t really do it. He could’ve even scratched off his skin if it served to erase the memories. He would be entirely _flayed_ , pulling away brutally and gradually every single flap of skin from which a gush of blood would flow. He just wanted to be freed from all of this and all of them. 

The prostitute expected another customer. 

He couldn’t know that he would meet the _first_ , _only one_ and _last man_ he would ever love.


	2. 02. Phantom

He often wondered what _life_ was and what _death_ was, because he couldn't even understand what set them apart. He thought that life and death were the _same_ for him. 

He had never really lived, just as he had never really died. He was stuck in limbo with neither life nor death. He couldn't even exist in any way. Not here, not tonight, not now. 

He was nothing as well as nobody. He was just the _ghost_ of himself. What he could’ve been, if they hadn't taken him away from himself, who he could’ve been. He was just a _phantom_ in a dirty room whose walls were empty. Just like him. _Dirty and empty_.


	3. 03. Distant

He was always elsewhere when he was fucked by them. 

He wasn’t close to them, despite being in front of them, fucked hard by them, he was _distant_ from them. He could’ve been there with his body, but he wasn't there with his soul. _He was gone a long time ago._

There was nothing left of him but an _empty shell_ , which was continuously filled, emptied and then filled again with their sperm. A _cycle_. It was a circle that didn’t open and close, but nevertheless he was right into it. 

He didn't even want to _pretend_ liking it anymore. Not even for himself, so as to avoid being beaten up by them.


	4. 04. Unknown

He was thrown out of the room. He was beaten up to the point it hurt him so deadly, but he was used to all of this. Everything was the same, just as everyone were the same. 

He was pressed to the floor, so as not to be able to move. He believed that sooner or later they would kill him. _He might’ve been better off dead_. 

His own eyes suddenly met his eyes. He got lost in that blue color. 

Freedom would have his eyes, so blue, and freedom would also have his voice, so deep. He was defended by him, as he intervened to stop the beating against him. 

He thought that maybe it wasn't over _yet_.


	5. 05. Stranger

He was brought back to the room, being thrown on the floor. 

He picked up a rag with which he cleaned himself up. The blood continued to flow from both his nose and lip, but as soon as he was finally alone he could at least let go of a hinted groan of pain. 

He could sense a burning desire for _revenge_ that was growing into him. Take back his body, himself and his life. 

He froze exactly where he was, when the door opened, the _blue-eyed stranger_ crossed the threshold and the door closed. He must’ve just _bought_ him.


	6. 06. Frozen

He looked down on the floor, where it was forming a small pool of blood. _Dense, shiny and dark_. The blood shone under the light. It was the one and only source of illumination in the chamber shrouded in dim light. 

A breath of wind broke into silence breaking the atmosphere. He felt the _frost_ pervading his bones, so _he shuddered violently_. He was still _naked_. 

He was caught off guard, so he stayed still and silent for a while. It was almost as if he didn't realize that time could pass inevitably, while they were locked in that room, so _dirty_ , and within those walls, so _empty_.


	7. 07. Bloody

Another brutal, icy and cruel breath of the wind pounced on him, wrapping him in its coils almost as if it wanted to freeze him to death. It managed to bring him back to reality abruptly.

" _I'm sorry_ ," the prostitute muttered to the customer. "I'll be quick. _I just have to wash the blood away_ ," he told him.

He was used to have to wash his blood off, because they would never fuck him covered in blood unless they were sadists. 

The blood’s smell continued to penetrate his nostrils, causing him to get sick. He was about to vomit, but he tried to hold back even though he turned pale.


	8. 08. Confusion

He tried to breathe, so as to focus on himself in such a way as to calm down. 

He passed back the rag on his nose and lips, until he was suddenly joined by the other male. 

A _cloak_ to cover his shoulders. A _handkerchief_ to clean his face. A _fire_ to warm up his body. He was taken care by him. He was so _confused_ that he didn't even try to wriggle out of him. 

He watched him from afar as he closed the window, then he turned to him and he rekindled the fire.

He was in a _daze_. He was taken aback by him.


	9. 09. Untrust

He found himself being shaken by shivers again, but it was the fault of what he felt spreading from within. He was _overwhelmed_ by the emotions, sensations and feelings, which definetely caught him by surprise. 

_He no longer even knew how to feel anything coming from anyone_. He was so detached from the reality around himself that he didn't even notice the white, perfumed and clean shirt that was placed on him. He figured it out when he smelled the scent of the perfume. 

He absentmindedly touched a flap of his shirt with his own fingers, as he turned to the other male with a sideways glance. 

_He only trusted himself_.


	10. 10. Memory

His own gaze lingered on his chest. He looked at the other male, observing him from head to toe. He was such a bulky, _handsome_ and manly man. Bigger than him, stronger than him, taller than him. 

He would've probably been _killed_ so easily and quickly by him. If only he wanted to kill him, then he would've killed him. Easily and quickly. 

The _memory_ of how his hands had moved gently and slowly on his own face was still _vivid_. He wondered if he could feel safe with him. He wanted to imprint the memory of him. He wanted to remember him, he didn't want to forget him.


	11. 11. Savior

“Erwin Smith. Survey Cops's Commander,” Erwin introduced himself to Levi.

“Levi. Brothel’s Whore,” Levi introduced himself to Erwin as well.

He wrapped himself up in both his cloak and his shirt feeling very tiny, since it didn’t fit him at all. 

"How long have you bought me for?" Levi asked Erwin. 

" _All night long_ ," Erwin answered Levi. 

"Why did you buy me?" Levi asked Erwin. 

" _Because buying you was the only way to protect you_ ," Erwin answered Levi. 

He clenched his jaw, he balled his fists and he gritted his teeth, since he could bet that the other male only wanted to feel like a _savior_ for him. 

He didn't need anyone's pity.


	12. 12. Rampage

He detested being pitied by others. It made him go on a _rampage_.

“Who do you think you are? My savior?” Levi mocked Erwin. 

He settled down himself onto him by straddling over him. He threw his own legs around his waist and his own arms around his neck, keeping him closer to himself. _He was riding him_.

"Keep your _fucking pity_ for yourself. _I don't fucking want it," Levi said to Erwin. "Are you an _impotent_?” he made fun of him._

He slipped his own fingers between his thighs, skimming his bulge. He wanted to _trigger_ a _reaction_ in him, whether it was a positive or negative one. 


	13. 13. Reaction

He could sense the heat that was radiated by the other male, although there was still some distance between them. 

He pressed himself closer against him, staring intently at him. _Face to face. Eyes to eyes._

They were so close to each other that they were even sharing the same breath. They were too close.

He didn’t get a _reaction_ from him, until his hands tightly grasped his own wrists to move them aside. He tried to break free from him, but he couldn't do it. He frowned.

 _Erwin didn’t want to be touched in that way by Levi_. 

Erwin leaned toward Levi. It was _almost_ like he was going to kiss him.


	14. 14. Disbelief

He felt their lips pressed against each other, which made him widen his eyes in _disbelief_. 

He tried to free himself from him, but the grasp became even more of steel preventing him to wriggle out. This _excited_ him yet _scared_ him at the same time. 

His tongue was forced into his own mouth. He kissed him back, but ferociously, _fighting for dominance_ and passionately. It was so _intense_.

He was lifted up and carry out by him so as to be lay down on the mattress under him. He felt like he was overhung by him, but he still felt safe with him.


	15. 15. Fearless

They broke away from each other only to catch their breath.

He lowered his head, then he felt his throat go dry, and he lifted his head, so as to let their respective glances intertwine. He looked at the other male, watching him for a while. He was _overwhelmed_ by him. Every single gaze, every single gesture, every single word. 

He always lived in fear, but while he was with him it seemed not to exist.

Levi lay between the sheets, while Erwin sat on those same sheets. He watched him get down on his knees, sinking them into the mattress that bent under his bulk.

He wasn’t afraid of him. He was _fearless_ , for the first time in such a long time.


	16. 16. Painful

“Come here,” Levi encouraged Erwin.

He spread his own legs apart for him, letting him better settle down between his own thighs. He shivered slightly when he was touched by him, feeling his fingers explore his own body, but as soon as his thumb ventured near his own hole he had to whimper in _pain_. It hurt him because he was already very _sore_.

"Sorry," Levi apologized to Erwin.

"Don’t worry," Erwin reassured Levi.

He reached out to him, letting his own fingers touch his cheek. The palm of his own hand was kissed by his lips.

_There would be a next time for them_. He wished for it.


	17. 17. Purpose

He found himself lying on top of him. It was as if they were the only ones in the whole world, as long as they were in this room and within these walls. They could’ve been who they wanted to be and what they wanted to be _if_ they stayed here. It could’ve lasted forever. They didn’t even make love. They already felt like they were _meant_ to be together.

"Why do you fight against titans?" Levi asked Erwin.

"For _knowledge_. I have to find out what's beyond the walls," Erwin answered Levi.

"Why do you work as a prostitute?" Erwin asked Levi.

"For _freedom_. I have to pay off a debt," Levi answered Erwin.

_They should've fought for their love, too._


	18. 18. Promises

He was still lying on top of him. His own head lay on his chest, just as his own fingers clung to his shoulders. He thought that he would most likely die sooner or later shredded by the jaws of a titan, so that there would be left only _memories_ of a night spent together. He ached to that idea by rejecting it.

He looked at him, becoming rather serious.

"We can find out what's beyond the walls together," Levi said to Erwin.

"We can do it," Erwin replied to Levi.

They talked about _dreams_ like _dreamers_.

Levi prayed for Erwin. He wanted him to come back to him alive. 


	19. 19. Awakening

He awoke before him, finding himself in his arms that clutched his own body protectively. 

He stayed there next to him. He put his own head on his chest, listening to the noise produced by his breath and by his heart.

He cautiously slipped out of the embrace, trying to be careful enough so as not to wake him up. 

He found a vat filled up with water beside the bed, so he washed and dressed himself up, but he wore his shirt instead of his own clothes. He had his scent _everywhere_. 

He suddenly felt his arms envelop his own waist. He let himself go against him trying to relax, though they were going to part ways.


	20. 20. Embrace

He turned in the _embrace_ facing the other male. He pushed him towards the bed and he made him sit on the sheets, giving him the chance to watch him as he approached him. 

He felt his hands clasp him _mightily_ by his own hips, so as to attract him to himself. He climbed astride him, throwing his own arms around his neck.

"This is _my_ shirt," Erwin told Levi.

"You smell good," Levi told Erwin.

He leaned over him to kiss him, pressing their lips together. 

They were bathed by the lights of the dawn that gradually became more intense, while they exchanged _many more kisses_.


	21. 21. Lonely

He felt lonely when he found himself alone again, but mostly because he was in the same room, on the same bed and within the same walls where they had been _together_.

All of those memories often resurfaced one after another. The flow couldn’t be interrupted, because it would still flow incessantly. Every time he was wearing that shirt, that of Erwin, it almost felt like he was still there. 

He would sit on the floor in front of the extinguished fire, allowing himself to be filled up with the scent that still clung to the fabric. _He wondered if they would meet again_. He wished for it.


	22. 22. Happiness

A lethal, intense and mortal fear gripped him constantly, even though he continued to _pray_ for him. He lived in terror that he might die. 

He wanted a chance to meet him again. Again and again. He who made him feel alive, making him believe that a life could exist. 

With his hands on his own body, with his lips on his own lips, with his voice in his own ear. He couldn't even admit it to himself, but _happiness was real when shared with him_. 

There was _something_ and _someone_ waiting for him outside this room and these walls. He wanted to reach him. He would fight for it.


	23. 23. Solitary

It was one of those nights. _He was lonely on a solitary night_. 

The storm raged outside. The flashes lightened and the thunders rumbled in the sky, always tearing it apart to shreds without giving it any respite. 

He was almost _frozen_ on the floor. He clutched himself in that _shirt_ that was _too big_ for him. He stared at an unspecified spot in the fireplace, observing the last fire's ashes he was allowed to light. 

He was stuck in a kind of torpor. _Detached_.

He was suddenly brought back to reality by a noise, as the hinges of the door squeaked softly.


	24. 24. Return

He turned to the door that opened, revealing the other male on the doorstep and that closed. His own eyes watched his figure, but as soon as he noticed that the shirt he was wearing was crumpled on itself, right near one of his two arms, he understood it. _He lost an arm_. 

He came back to him, but in pieces. 

He stayed still and silent for a while, but within himself there was an _uproar_. 

He walked towards him. He confronted him, glaring at him disdainfully.

"Do I disgust you so much?" Erwin asked Levi. 

" _You could’ve died_ ," Levi answered Erwin.


	25. 25. Anger

He felt the urge to vent against him.

He was so _angry_ that he hurled himself on him, throwing a series of punches against him that had no effect on him. His own fists repeatedly hit his chest, but he realized that the other male was still _inexpressive_.

"I fucking hate you!" Levi yelled at Erwin.

He was picked up by him, so as to be thrown on mattress finding himself right under him. He struggled under him, but he couldn't break free from him. 

"As _I_ could’ve died _there_ , then _you_ could’ve died _here_ ," Erwin said to Levi. “I was worried about you as much you were worried about me,” he told him.


	26. 26. Naked

His own soft skin was skimmed by his hard fingers, but he felt ashamed of himself. He was covered in bruises, marks and wounds as the whore he was. 

He leaned over to him, touching his lips slightly with his own lips. He threw his own arms around his neck to pull him towards himself, so that he could make their respective bodies collide. 

When he let him go, it was because they both had to take off their clothes. He helped him out with it. He undressed himself in front of him, slowly sliding the buttons out of the slots. _He was naked front of him_. Nude. _In every way he could be with him_.


	27. 27. Love

He straddled over him. 

He stuck his finger between his buttocks, pushing it and twisting into the hole to widen it. He wanted to be watched by him the whole time since the start until the end. 

He was shaken by a series of shivers, when he replaced his own fingers with his member in such a way as to impale himself on him. He uttered a chocked, guttural and strangled groan, as if was a perfect mixture of both pleasure and pain. 

He placed his own palms on his shoulders, keeping himself up while he stared at him from above.

_They made love all night long_.


	28. 28. Letter

When the lights of the dawn bathed him, he found he found a _letter_ and money in his place. _Levi was alone, Erwin was gone._

He took out the letter from the envelope. He read it: "Forgive me. I hid it from you. I’m going on a mission that could be suicidal. In Shiganshina. I won’t make promises to you, but if I come back to you, then we’ll find out what's beyond the walls. We're going to do it together, you and I. I paid off your whole debt. You have enough money to begin another life. You’re free. To live. Live, Levi. _May we meet again_. Erwin”.

 _He broke into tears_.


	29. 29. Beginning

He finally rediscovered the desire to live. There was _something_ waiting for him out there, _a life to live_ , and there was _someone_ waiting for him out there, _a man to love_. 

He had to take himself back. Every single piece they ripped off him, shredding him to pieces. He had to put the fragments back together, even if he would never be the same he would rebuild _another himself_. It would've been enough to begin to live a new life by being a new self. With him. 

He had to live. _Waiting for him, looking for him, finding him. He wanted to share this new life with him_.


	30. 30. Erwin

The last time Levi saw Erwin was on the hearse that brought back the bodies of the deceased soldiers. He was one of them. He wanted to cry, faint and scream, but he could only stare at him from afar as he felt a desire for revenge. 

He was ready. _To live, not to survive_. He had to live for both of them. He owed it to him. _This life_. He couldn’t waste it out.

He joined the _Survey Corps_ , becoming the strongest, deadliest and soldier of humanity. He fought for him. When it would be _over_ , he'd find him on the other side. _Beyond the walls_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose that everyone already knew that he would've died in this story. I was incredibly saddened when I had to write and post this final chapter, but I decided to stick to my original idea. 
> 
> **If you like my style of writing, then you can read a much happier and longer Eruri One-Shot that you can find here** : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576000
> 
> Thank you very much for the bookmarks, kudos and comments!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first work in the Shingeki No Kyojin fandom. Yes, I'm Eruri trash! **If you have plots or ideas for future Eruri fanfiction** , **then you can contact me** : https://thesouththth.tumblr.com/ :).
> 
> Let me know what you think about it. Bookmarks, kudos, subscriptions, comments. They're all valid to me.


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